Your Suffering is not Punishment 

God is not angry with you.  Job's pain was not the pain of a whip but the pain of the surgeon's scalpel.  Removing the toxins of pride and fear is the most loving thing God could do.  Transformation requires discomfort. 

Romans 12:2

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and PerfectWill of God"